Alright, if I'm going to be straight up with you, I made that word up. I couldn't find an actual "phobia" related to success, so I just took the latin word for success and threw it on the front.
Anyway, I have had an interesting past week. I have been needing to get this all down somewhere, and this was more handy than my journal. I have had a potentially life changing experience, which when I look back on it was the result of so many different factors that all happened to occur at the same time...you might say the stars had all aligned. In essence, I found purpose in my life. Ok, that sounds dramatic, I've always had purpose in my life, but I have a direction.
It all started last Wednesday, I was in my tax class. I know what you're thinking, "How on earth could anyone receive inspiration in a tax class?!?" You would think that the only inspiration anyone could receive there would be to switch majors. Just hold on though, it was merely the beginning of a journey. A journey which probably requires more background info than telling you which courses I'm taking this semester...
Long story short, I ended up majoring in accounting because I couldn't think of anything I was passionate about studying when college applications were becoming due, so I went through a process of elimination, first removing things I knew I couldn't or didn't want to do. Science was the first out the door. I have never regretted that decision. (no offense to my biology major friends. I respect you even more for that.) followed by education, engineering, arts, etc. (to be honest, Ag was never even a consideration) By this means I arrived at Business, which made sense. I began refining my search through the different business majors, and landed at Accounting. Which REALLY made sense because I have always been good with numbers, and I love problem solving, and that is essentially the core of accounting. Now I still feel good about accounting as a major (plus I have added communication studies as a dual major) but I have never really known what career path I wanted to follow. I have had professors say it doesn't matter, that I just need to be open to opportunities as they present themselves, which I agree with, but it didn't set my mind at ease any. It has been on my brain for the last months almost constantly. It had been becoming more and more obnoxious too.
There, now you are caught up on the essentials, back to relevant times...The magic thing that happened in my tax class was simply that I heard the term "tax attorney" my mind wrapped around that idea pretty smoothly. I hadn't ever considered tax law, and business law had crossed my mind but it was years ago. That was all that happened in class, pretty simple right? Now onto the real juicy part...I couldn't get my mind off of going to law school...which was weird and exciting. Me? law school?...Ok. Although I still don't know if I want to do Tax law or Business law in general, I started looking at top rated tax and business law programs in the country, and that's when it happened. I stumbled across NYU. New York University. I felt a rush as soon as it crossed my mind because ever since I visited New York I've always said I wanted to go to grad school there. This all seemed to be the perfect plan. What made me fall in love with it though, was the location. In the heart of Greenwich Village, the NYU campus buildings surround Washington Square Park, which is most recognizable for the arch that looms over the entrance of the park, that coincidentally is at the birthplace of 5th avenue.
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| The entrance to WSP |
This for most people would be enough, but then the clincher was when I stumbled upon pictures of the law building itself. When I found these I just felt like I belonged in that building. It was a sort of calm excitement that I don't recall the last time I felt. Although I don't expect anyone to have the same emotions as I have looking at these, here are a couple examples of what I saw.
Oh man, that screams knowledge to me. More importantly it screams "Challenge!" which is what I've been looking for the past little while. Some of you might be bored to tears already, so I will be brief in mentioning my other motivations, but you need to know a couple things.
I came to the conclusion last month that I needed to not waste my brain. I have been blessed with a reasonably good level of cognitive function, but I haven't been using it well. My study habits were minimal, and I wasted so much more time than I would like to admit, but luckily I have been developing habits that are changing that. I have been reading a lot more, which has in turn lowered my desire to watch t.v. shows and use social media...interesting correlation there. I also am doing a better job of getting myself to focus even when I don't feel like paying attention. These are skills that anyone needs really, not just a potential law student, but me being able to master these basic skills is kind of the litmus test to see if I can pull it off.
I know it's lofty, some of you who have known me for a long time are reading this thinking "what the? do I know this kid?" but that really is the miracle of having a goal. A final destination really motivates in the dark and depressing times. It excites you to go further and do more. I want to make something of myself, and that is going to take years of dedication and sacrifice. It's not easy, but it never has been for anyone who has made a name for themselves. That's what makes them different. Not some special skill that made them successful, but a relentless desire to make the most of themselves. Men like Abraham Lincoln who beat all odds as an awkward public lawyer from rural Illinois who beat out much more successful political candidates than himself to become president. (I would never want to get involved in politics, but the principle is the same.) He set his standard high, and he achieved it. My basketball coach used to say "Don't be afraid of success" It never meant much to me back then, but now it takes on a whole new meaning. Success comes with a high price tag, don't be afraid to pay it.
In closing I share the final realization I had that set my vision so high. I recently learned about something called "Parkinson's Law" which states that a task will expand to fill the amount of time allotted to it. Think of any class project you've ever done. No matter how much or how little time you are given to complete the task, you always finish the night before it's due. (sometimes within minutes of the deadline even.) I kind of changed that to say "One's personal achievement expands to fill the Goals/Convictions set by that person." Plain language: You will achieve so much more if you set specific goals, high ones at that. But only ones that you have a deep personal conviction to achieve.
Some of you may not believe in me, but I don't need you to believe in me, I'm doing this for myself. I realize the goal may shift. A year from now I may not want to go to NYU, I may not even want to become a lawyer, but the take away from this whole deal is that I need to set my sights higher. I am so glad I had this opportunity. Along with the challenges that lay ahead of me.
I'm especially glad I took Tax this semester.
